5th over: England 45-2 (Buttler 25, Bethell 7) That was inspired captaincy from Surykumar Yadav, who kept Bumrah up his sleeve until Brook was there (not that it took long). Brook wasn’t expecting the slower ball, whereas the Indian batters seemed to see England’s pace-off varieties coming a mile off.

Jacob Bethell, who is not easily fazed, gets off the mark with a six, whipped to fine leg. But then Bumrah bamboozles him outside off and he’s lucky to get away with a loopy edge.

4th over: England 38-1 (Buttler 25, Brook 7) Hardik continues, too: no need for bowling changes yet. SKY could hand over the captaincy to ChatGPT and still win by a street. A single or two, and then Brook produces his first flourish, a glorious pull for four. He spied a bouncer, shaped to cut, changed his mind at the last second, and still sent the ball sailing to midwicket.

And Buttler hits a six! It’s ungainly, but he gets enough on it to get it over long-off. Thirteen off the over. Another 16 overs like that and England will be fine.

3rd over: England 25-1 (Buttler 18, Brook 1) Arshdeep continues. Buttler tries a Brook-style shimmy but can’t quite lay bat on ball. Next he drills a yorker straight for four, so at least he has made it into double figures. Then there’s a mistimed clonk to midwicket, and a play-and-miss outside off. “He’s just losing all his shape,” says Mike Atherton. A mistimed chip over the covers for two. Another straight drive for four. In what could be his last T20 international innings, Buttler isn’t going down without a fight.

England’s chances have sunk from 4 per cent to 2. They surely rest on the shoulders of Harry Brook.

2nd over: England 15-1 (Buttler 8, Brook 1) Salt swished Hardik high into the night sky, and Axar Patel made no mistake. That brings in Harry Brook, who made a big mistake at this stage of India’s innings. Undaunted, Brook goes down the track to his first ball, taking a single. Hardik, with his tail up now, beats Buttler outside off and then with a short ball that sails over the stumps. When Buttler tries to hit back with a ramp, he misses it and settles for a leg-bye off his shoulder.

So India have their first wicket, England are behind the rate, and Bumrah hasn’t even bowled yet.

1st over: England 13-0 (Salt 5, Buttler 8) So England began with four, one, four. Now Arshdeep manages a dot, and then very nearly yorks Buttler – who does well to get his bat on it, let alone inside-edge it for four, nutmegging himself. England, at this early stage, are bang on the required rate.

1st ball: England 4-0 (Salt 4, Buttler 0) Salt glances the first delivery from Arshdeep for four, nice and fine. England ahead of the rate!

The one silver lining for England in this big black cloud is that it should be liberating for Buttler and Salt. They simply have to go hell for leather.

The Indians go into their huddle, with Jasprit Bumrah delivering the speech. “Right lads. It’s fine to concede 12 an over, but don’t you dare go for 13!”

19.4 overs: India 250-6 (Hardik 26, Axar 1) Brook hands the last over to Jacks, the man with the magic touch. Hardik isn’t bothered: he slogs a huge six from outside off, turns down a single, and belts another six down the ground. That brings up the 250!

19th over: India 237-6 (Hardik 14, Axar 1) Jofra Archer returns for his last over. Varma, waiting for him, lofts a length ball over long-on. Archer manages a dot as Varma backs away to leg. Archer bowls a yorker, or a low full-toss – which Varma deflects over third man for six! That’s the 14th time India have deposited the ball in the stands tonight. The 15th follows immediately as Varma pulls an off-cutter over backward square. Archer, trying to follow him as he backs away, bowls a wide. Finally, the wicket that Archer should have had when Samson clothed him to Brook at mid-on. His figures end up as a chastening 4-0-61-1.

18th over: India 217-5 (Hardik 14, Varma 3) Back comes Sam Curran, bearing moon balls. While I wonder if I have written this before, Dube simply waits for the first delivery and lifts it into the stand at long-on. Curran retorts with a yorker and reckons he’s got Dube LBW, but when Brook reviews, the replay shows it’s going down. Then comes the run-out, a blessed relief for Brook. Next ball, Curran induces a top edge as Hardik thriows the bat (literally), but Tom Banton, coming in from long-on, can’t quite cling onto a tough chance. Then there’s a delay as Tilak Varma needs some treatment – for a tweaked hamstring, Nasser suspects.

Curran gets out of the over with a wide and a single. He has reached his half-century: 4-0-53-0. And he’s bowled quite a few good balls.

17th over: India 205-4 (Dube 37, Hardik 13) India know they can have some fun for the final four overs. Hardik Pandya starts with a ramp for four, and he’s not even looking at the ball as he flicks it over his shoulder like a pinch of salt. Hardik brings up the 200 with what you might call an early cut, seeing it so well that he slaps it to extra-cover’s right. And then he shows he can play a late cut too. He has 13 from just six balls.

16th over: India 190-4 (Dube 35, Pandya 0) Just before the wicket Rashid was launched into the crowd, twice. He finishes with 4-0-041-2, better than most.

Nasser Hussain reveals that the record international run chase on this ground is 230 – by England against South Africa in a World T20. India’s total is projected to reach 238.

15th over: India 177-3 (Dube 28, Suryakumar 5) Back comes Sam Curran, ever willing. He gets a sharp bouncer past Dube’s helmet, only to follow up with a wide and then a moon ball that Dube, happy to bide his time, thumps for four. Ten from the over, which almost feels like progress. Curran has 3-0-42-0: he always makes things happen, but today it’s been mostly the wrong things.

“England are looking down the barrel of a total north of 250,” says Colum Fordham, “which even considering England’s aggressive batting, looks mildly daunting. Only 3 or 4 wickets might thwart India but it looks unlikely. England’s bowlers have no answers to this brutal onslaught, not even the wily Rashid.
Brook is going to have to play a sensational innings and will be motivated after his dropped dolly. Samson? Devastating. Where’s Delilah when you need her?”

Well, she was one of my nicknames at school – does that count?

14th over: India 167-3 (Dube 20, Suryakumar 4) Here is SKY. Coming into quite a comfy situation for a captain, he opens his account with a breezy two.

Meanwhile his haggard opposite number is relying on Will Jacks once again. He has 3-0-26-2, while all the other bowlers have 11-0-141-1.

Brook turned to Jacks, who struck immediately. He threw it out wide of off to tempt Samson, who took the bait. Phil Salt again took a composed catch in the deep, renewing the double act that did for Abhishek, several years ago now.

That is the end of a phenomenal innings – 89 off 42 balls, or seven overs. Samson has got one hand on the Man of the Match award already.

13th over: India 160-2 (Samson 89, Dube 18) Brook brings back Archer, hoping for a breakthrough or a miracle. Samson flails him over backward point for six, his 15th six of the tournament (from just four innings). Archer replies with an attempted toe ball that turns out to be a leg-side wide. Samson adds another six, a forehand drive down the line. Fifteen off the over and Archer now has 3-0-41-0. Worse still, it means that England have to do the same to Bumrah.

“Ooh err,” says Andrew Benton. “Brook’s got previous in the butterfingers department, you’d have thought he’d have put some effort into improving after his Ashes drops.” To be fair, he probably has.

12th over: India 145-2 (Samson 76, Dube 17) Rashid, England’s best bowler today as so often, finds the first ball of this over being belted for six by Dube. And the fifth ball too. Fifteen off the over and the Indian fans are dancing in the stands.

“An existential England T20 parable for our times,” says Mark Beadle. “Waiting for Buttler.”

11th over: India 130-2 (Samson 75, Dube 3) Overton returns, to be greeted with a straight six by Samson. The Overton window is getting wider: India’s projected total is now 231, almost unbeatable.

Mike Atherton comes on commentary and says “Jofra Archer bowled so poorly in the powerplay.” Atherton is a master broadcaster, but that seems harsh given that Archer is the only bowler to have bothered Samson. It was off his bowling that Brook dropped his clanger.

10th over: India 119-2 (Samson 67, Dube 1) So Rashid manages to strike a blow for England – after what feels like about 400 blows for India. Suryakumar Yadav springs a surprise by demoting himself in favour of Shivam Dube, who starts with a swing to leg. Rashid, again, ends his over well: one, dot, one after the wicket. He has 2-0-13-1 and he has given England a glimmer of hope.

“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” says Krish Krishnamoorthy. “Has the English team considered giving Samson a haircut?”

9th over: India 112-1 (Samson 65, Ishan Kishan 35) Sam Curran returns from the other end. And both batters hit him for six! Ishan flicking over midwicket, Samson just lifting a pull over the fielder at deep square. Samson then smashes a four through extra-cover. Since reaching fifty, Samson has somehow managed to speed up (14 off his last five balls). If England don’t get a wicket soon, it will be game over.

7th over: India 71-1 (Samson 45, Ishan Kishan 16) Sure enough, Rashid’s first ball is drilled through extra-cover by Samson. That brings up the fifty partnership, 51 off just 25 balls. Rashid restores order by varying his pace. Dot, one, one, dot: only six off the over, which makes it the best thing to happen to England since Abhishek’s wicket.

Here comes Adil Rashid. “Against two very fine players of spin,” says Nasser Hussain, ominously.

6th over: India 67-1 (Samson 41, Ishan Kishan 16) Off goes Jacks (2-0-19-1, very respectable) and on comes Sam Curran, bearing his wide range of slower balls. Samson is wise to them, waiting and waiting and chipping for four down the ground, then steering to third man. When Curran greets Ishan with a bumper, it’s too high and called a wide. Curran gets better as the over goes on but still goes for a few singles. The powerplay ends with India on Easy Street. According to CricViz, they already have a 76pc chance of a win.

Meanwhile, a Kiwi writes. “Now that my team has made it through to the final, I’m obviously supporting England,” says Alistair O’Connor. “Do I have to spell out why?” Ha. “The NZ-India final of the one-day Champions’ Trophy last year left a bad taste in my mouth. India had it wrapped up, but let it run to the last over. Unsporting, in my view.” That’s not the reason I was expecting.

5th over: India 55-1 (Samson 31, Kishan 15) Archer, nursing those bad figures, gives way to Jamie Overton. each batter takes a sighter, and a single, before Ishan Kishan tucks in – a wristy whip for four, a flashing drive for four more. Overton manages a rare dot with a full ball, and another, with a spicy bouncer. But India are still in charge: this partnership ihas raced to 35 off 18 balls.

4th over: India 45-1 (Samson 30, Kishan 6) Samson is batting like a man who has just made an unbeaten 90. He square-drives Jacks for four, and Ishan Kishan joins in the fun with a pinpoint sweep for four. Both batters take comfy singles too, and India are running away with this – though Salt does save a single with an acrobatic leap at cover. Fielding often says something about morale and Salt looks in good fettle despite his failures with the bat.

3rd over: India 34-1 (Samson 25, Kishan 0) Samson makes England pay for that howler by pulling Archer for six over deep square. When Archer responds with a yorker, Samson glides it through gully for four. He’s got 25 off only 11 balls and Jofra who usually strikes in the powerplay, has 2-0-26-0.

2nd over: India 20-1 (Samson 11, Kishan 0) Brook threw the ball to Will Jacks, the odd-job man who has become England’s matchwinner. He started with an arm ball, squirted for four by Abhishek, then settled for three balls before being lofted over extra-cover for another four. Abhishek tried to go big again and picked out the man at deep midwicket.

1st over: India 12-0 (Samson 11, Abhishek 1) Jofra Archer’s second ball beats Samson, who averages only 8 against him. But his third ball, dug in, is pulled for four over mid-on, if not with much timing. And the fourth ball, also short, is flipped over fine leg for six! So he’s beaten that average already. “That’s where Samson wants it,” says Dinesh Karthik. “He’s deep in the crease, almost both legs behind the crease.” When Jofra gets the memo and pitches it up, Samson pushes into the covers for a single, and Abhishek follows suit. Advantage India!

An email! “Well Tim,” says Guy Hornsby, “the only thing we know is that no one knows anything. These two teams are capable of fireworks. India, the home favourites, star-studded and Uber talented. England, scraping through games with cameos, new and old players to the fore. So many storylines and any result possible really. RIP my nerves, come on England!”

Funny how spellcheck assumes that, by uber, we now mean Uber.

Brook gives someone a thumbs-up. He’s standing at slip next to Buttler, so England will be on the attack for at least one ball.

England’s first task is to stop Abhishek Sharma and Sanju Samson getting off to a flyer. As Finn Allen showed yesterday, an opener can win a semi-final all by himself.

Will Jacks belts out God Save The King like a peroxide version of a Chelsea pensioner. As soon as it finishes, Harry Brook pops a piece of chewing gum into his mouth. The young chaperones look on with mild curiosity from under their yellow bucket hats.

The teams come out for the anthems, through an avenue of fireworks. They are, as Ian Bishop puts it, “chaperoned by youngsters.”